In rapid succession, divorce, falling into such erotic love with a man that parts of me came out of a coma. And then, my ex’s suicide. The hole in the middle of my life that had been there, I just couldn’t see it.

People have expectations of how a widow should grieve. What her timeline should be. They’ll feel better if you go to therapy like a good girl, maybe write some poems about loss and start a women’s circle.

But I made a decision: Nothing that doesn’t make me feel fully alive. Not anymore. Not ever again.

So death into art. I stopped building funnels. I quit coaching. My life became an erotic experiment. High-risk play became the path. I took my kids and their friends to Paris to see Tame Impala. I accidentally founded an underground erotic society.

And now what’s clear is this: we don’t get the life we want - the one we really, really want - by working hard, skill-building or mastering the game. We don’t even do it by ‘building a movement’. We do it by becoming a living, dynamic field of our vision fulfilled, and letting the Universe meet us right where we are, with absolutely everything we ever wanted.

2025: I was an apex predator. A multi-million-dollar coaching company that opened doors to wealth and freedom for thousands of entrepreneurs. A palace in Sedona with my supportive husband and two children I adored.

I had it. I was in. Pages of testimonials. Massive sales and lives changed.

But then something shifted. The night we planted 3 Ocotillo in the dark the decision was made. An argument between me and my husband that cut deep because it was the same stupid script playing itself out - again. My business ecosystem started to slip but no one could say why. I could feel it coming, but didn’t know what it was. I only knew the dismantling was imminent and I was the willing devotee.

Kali confirmed in a vision: Let. It. Go.

My marriage was over. I closed down my most popular and profitable program. But even as I could feel the atmospheric pressure drop in my life, I had no idea what was yet to come.