In rapid succession, divorce, falling into such erotic love with a man that parts of me came out of a coma. And then, my ex’s suicide. The hole in the middle of my life that had been there, I just couldn’t see it.
People have expectations of how a widow should grieve. What her timeline should be. They’ll feel better if you go to therapy like a good girl, maybe write some poems about loss and start a women’s circle.
But I made a decision: Nothing that doesn’t make me feel fully alive. Not anymore. Not ever again.
So death into art. I stopped building funnels. I quit coaching. My life became an erotic experiment. High-risk play became the path. I took my kids and their friends to Paris to see Tame Impala. I accidentally founded an underground erotic society.
And now what’s clear is this: we don’t get the life we want - the one we really, really want - by working hard, skill-building or mastering the game. We don’t even do it by ‘building a movement’. We do it by becoming a living, dynamic field of our vision fulfilled, and letting the Universe meet us right where we are, with absolutely everything we ever wanted.
2025: I was an apex predator. A multi-million-dollar coaching company that opened doors to wealth and freedom for thousands of entrepreneurs. A palace in Sedona with my supportive husband and two children I adored.
I had it. I was in. Pages of testimonials. Massive sales and lives changed.
But then something shifted. The night we planted 3 Ocotillo in the dark the decision was made. An argument between me and my husband that cut deep because it was the same stupid script playing itself out - again. My business ecosystem started to slip but no one could say why. I could feel it coming, but didn’t know what it was. I only knew the dismantling was imminent and I was the willing devotee.
Kali confirmed in a vision: Let. It. Go.
My marriage was over. I closed down my most popular and profitable program. But even as I could feel the atmospheric pressure drop in my life, I had no idea what was yet to come.
i built a multi-million dollar coaching company.
it wasn't his death that destroyed it.
I did.
Because I couldn't take one more day of not being fully alive.
Here’s the secret - I was born for this. It’s not the first time I took something everyone admired and mercy killed it because it was no longer correct. Compassionate curse unraveling at its finest.
I don’t seek to win the game. I win and then I break it and invent a new one. I spent 12 years in a Jungian cult. I’ve been the spiritual advisor to presidential campaigns and Hollywood darlings. I’ve taught multinational tech management teams how to shift entire companies through shifting their assemblage point to the heart. I've been the million-dollar mirror for leaders building literal conscious cities and igniting new religions.
My tools are many but dreams and a direct encounter with an archetypal threshold are key. Way more fun, uncanny, magical and profitable than you think. Because it’s only through slipping out of one identity into another that change is made. Permanently. Above and below.
Eros is the answer to everything. But don’t believe me. Come find out for yourself.
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